Meet Dick Diamond (Vocals):
Dick Diamond is a legend – an international jetsetter fueled by music, women, and an amazing fashion sense. It has been reported that that the “Most Interesting Man in the World” said that Dick Diamond is “far more interesting than me.” But unfortunately, as with every episode of “Behind the Music,” there was a dark side to Dick.
In 2012, the Stickney Paternal Embryonic Reproductive Medical Institute (S.P.E.R.M.I) Lab contacted Dick after 1500 children from the Sperm Donor Sibling Registry filed an injunction to find out the identity of their single donor. However, the fact that Dick possibly generated enough samples to father 1500 children wasn’t the shocking reason they were contacting him – it was the fact that another donor from the lab had the exact DNA as him: that’s right, after extensive testing it was discovered that Dick Diamond had a long lost fraternal twin...
But who on earth could it be?
Captain Mantastic’s past is littered with bad tuxedos, bad decisions, bad marriages, and bad breath – not his, mind you, but that of his second ex-wife, which smelled like a skunk died in her small intestine. Regardless, he had risen to the top of the cover band world only to self-destruct at the pinnacle of his success. After being served with countless paternity suits, making ridiculous contractual demands (i.e.: no eye contact from anyone, even when looking in the mirror), and undergoing a questionably successful vocal cord transplant – the Captain finally ended up in a Tijuana jail cell alone, dejected, and possibly engaged to his cellmate. However, where many a lesser man would have given up, the Captain did some soul searching, pulled up his Depends, and vowed to reclaim his title of the “World’s Greatest Frontman.”
After several days of apprehension, Dick Diamond and Captain Mantastic finally met on a rainy July afternoon at the Crabby Hole in Stickney, Illinois. Over the course of 8 hours the pair discovered that they were separated at birth, adopted by different families, and yet ended up living frighteningly parallel lives filled with debauchery, rehab, bigamy, parole, alimony, and most of all, music. But while the Captain excitedly talked about his plans to return to the stage so he could “make things right,” Dick talked about pulling out of music altogether and “disappearing” into the world. Then, in a miraculous moment of clarity, destiny spoke: Keep Dick in the family. They realized that Captain Mantastic could ascend to the Dick throne and take over the name and legacy of Dick Diamond and the Dusters.
Anyway, this is a new Dick, a new start, a new destiny.